写作分析:

1. 这类写作任务接近于一篇人物评论。因为有几个人物可以选择,所以首先要确定你想要描写的人,然后在写作时,注意人物特点,切忌张冠李戴,对应错误。人物评论不仅要对他/她评论,还要对这个人物进行简单介绍,所以时态上通常用一般现在时,而在介绍他/她过去发生的事时,用一般过在时。

2. 人物的介绍与评论,总体来说,应分为三大部分:首先介绍你要评论的人物是谁,以及他/她的职业。这样的开头直截了当,让人一目了然。然后叙述你喜欢他/她的原因。在陈述理由时,可以参考题目中所给的提示,比如可以介绍他/她的性格特点或者他/她的职业表现,同时可以加入一些你对这个人物的了解或者评价、其他人对他/她的评论。最后简单说一下这个人对你的影响,比如,成为像他/她一样的人是你的一个梦想或目标。

3. 可能用到的词汇:

描写人物外部特征的形容词:

tall, short, thin, heavy, beautiful, nice, handsome

描写人物性格特点的形容词:

funny, serious, easygoing, quiet, athletic, outgoing, charming, smart, calm, kind, cool, cute, lovely, warm-hearted

评价人物的形容词:

good, great, famous, well-known

初稿:

Among the four famous people, I like Yao Ming best. Yao plays basketball very well. Now he is in NBA. Lots of people like him. He’s tall and he’s so smart in the game. He is a quiet and serious man. He is athletic, and he is quiet and gentle in his life, but he is charming in the game. I think he is a basketball hero. He always tries his best in the basketball game. I like basketball. Being such a nice player is my dream, and I’ll practice more.

初稿分析:
    初稿作者首先指出自己喜欢的人是姚明,然后介绍他的职业,开头直截了当。接下来描述选择姚明的原因。在介绍姚明在赛场上和场外的表现时,有些混乱,缺乏逻辑性。如果先描写他在场外的表现,然后再描写他在场上的表现,文章会显得更有条理。另外,在给出他在场上的优秀表现时,作者只是简单地陈列论点,没有论据的支持,就像一棵树只看见它的树干而上面却没有绿叶。如果针对某一论点进行具体的描写或陈述,姚明这个人物的形象将会更丰满。
    下面请看修改后的成稿:

成稿:

Among these four famous people, I like Yao Ming best. Yao plays basketball in NBA now. He’s quiet and gentle when he isn’t playing basketball. He’s a very charming player and all over the world lots of people like him and his team, the Rockets. I think he is a basketball hero. He often scores over 20 points in one game, sometimes even over 30 points! But he always said it is because his team has great teamwork. He is a great player. To be like such a player is my dream!

Powerful sentences:

1. Yao Ming is my favorite NBA star.姚明是我最喜欢的NBA球星。2. Ronaldinho is such a handsome and cool guy when he’s on the soccer field.罗纳尔迪尼奥在球场上是一个又帅又酷的人。

3. I dream about being a great pianist like Lang Lang one day.我梦想有一天能成为像朗朗那样伟大的钢琴家。

4. He is not only brave but also kind. 他不仅勇敢而且善良。

5. I want to be a brave, kind and smart boy, just like Harry. 我想成为一个像哈里那样勇敢、善良又聪明的男孩。

巩固练习:
    英语老师Mrs Brooks从《哈利·波特》系列中选出三个最受欢迎的人物:Harry Potter, Hermione Granger(赫敏·格兰杰)和Ron Weasley(罗恩·韦斯莱)。她把每个人物的特点分别写在一张卡片上,要同学们从中选出自己最喜欢的一位,并写出理由。下面也请你完成这个写作任务,要求80词左右。